


She's Just Gone

by ihaveaslighttvaddiction



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Beth Lives, F/M, Fluff, Team Delusional, bethyl
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-13 15:12:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4526895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihaveaslighttvaddiction/pseuds/ihaveaslighttvaddiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While out recruiting with Aaron Daryl finds the one person he never imagined he would, alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. never just another dead girl

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting on this website, normally I just use fan fiction. net but it is here and I hope you all enjoy it! Please review and tell me what you think ,even if you absolutely hate it

Daryl was out in the woods again with Aaron searching for possible new recruits as he had been for quite some time since he accepted his role as Alexandria's second recruiter with no luck, not that he was complaining. He preferred the loneliness of the outside world to that of the community they now found themselves a part of. Although he wasn't completely alone seeing as Aaron was always at his tail, he didn't mind because he rarely initiated small talk and understood that Daryl needed space every now and then.

Behind the walls the people were too cheerful and disconnected from the terror that was lurking on the outside. They couldn't truly understand the suffering and great losses they had all experienced out there in the real world. Everything inside those barriers was a façade. The naïve idea that things could be the way they were before. Things could never be like before, not after all that happened. But even through all that, he couldn't wish it away because despite everything, if none of it had ever happened, he would have never met her. No other circumstances would have brought Beth into his life.

It still hurt to even say her name in his own mind, and he sure as hell he hadn't been able to say it out loud since...

She's just gone but she was never truly gone. No matter what he did he couldn't escape her. He couldn't sleep without dreaming of that horrible day, always the same moments playing over and over and over like some sick record and he would try to reach out and stop her but his body wouldn't move he'd scream but no sound would come out of his mouth and she would be on the floor and then in his arms as he carried her out and she was just gone so he tried not to sleep. You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone Daryl Dixon. Wherever he looked he saw things, heard things that reminded him of her. She wasn't there but she was everywhere. In the trees, the breeze, the sunlight, the birds chirping only reminded him that he would never hear her sing again, her blade was kept on his belt and he gripped it when missing her grew into a current threatening to wash him away. Putting out his cigarette on the calloused skin of his hand because damn it he wanted to feel something other than the empty ache and the guilt. He should have done something. Even his damn crossbow was tainted with her memory. I'm getting pretty good at this, soon I won't need you at all.

He chewed the inside of his cheeks sore trying to keep himself from letting it out because he didn't want anyone to see him like that, not like she had when they had thrown back glasses of moonshine and he turned into a drunken asshole telling her things he didn't really mean, things she didn't deserve and he broke down as she held him and he let her. None of it matter anymore because she was just gone.

Daryl continued treading through the foliage, brushing away the branches in his path and searching for any signs of others out there. Aaron was now walking by his side and looked as though he was debating whether or not to say what he was thinking. "Daryl, I know you and I aren't really best buddies but sometimes it's good to talk about things. You might feel better" Daryl kept his face straight ahead and was moving brush aside in a slightly more aggressive fashion. "Ain't got nothin' to talk about" he was dismissive but nowhere near convincing. "They must have been special, whoever you lost. I'm sure they would have-" "Don't" Daryl firmly interrupted reaching down to grip her blade momentarily. "You can't spend your whole-" suddenly Daryl raised his hand to signal that he had heard something. They were silent for a spell, there wasn't a sound except the breeze flowing through the leaves and the light hum of the insects. It wasn't a walker, someone was out there.

"C'mon out right now!" Daryl demanded as he held his crossbow in ready position scanning the area around them. It was a moment of quiet tension before a man stepped out from behind a few large trees will his hands up in a position to surrender. "I don't mean any harm, I've been looking for you all for a very long time"

Daryl narrowed his eyes and strengthened his grip on the crossbow remaining very cautious of the stranger. Signaling for him to set down his gun. The man paused for a second and then slowly lowered it to the ground and Aaron picked it up. Daryl replied stiffly, "who're you? What d'ya mean you've been lookin' for us" The man appeared calm and genuine "My name's Morgan, you're here with Rick. I've been trying to get to him since he saved me"

Aaron remained quiet but vigilant during the interaction, Daryl was better at handling the questioning on his own, but he didn't get a bad vibe from Morgan and he hoped Daryl was on the same page. "How many others you got with you" Aaron looked around them trying to see if there was any sign of other people nearby "I've got one girl with me, says she was part of your group before." Daryl couldn't help the flicker of hope that shot through him but he pushed it away immediately because that wasn't possible. It couldn't be her. It wasn't her. She's just gone

"We ain't left no one behind that wasn't dead, you're lyin'" Just then he heard a twig snap from behind him and he spun quickly

And then he froze.

"Daryl." He struggled to hold the crossbow in his left hand hanging down on his side, his words caught in his throat as he looked at the blonde girl in her bloodstained yellow polo and torn jeans with healed scars on her cheek and forehead. Her sweet smile. The tears resting in her eyes competing with the disbelief in his. He opened his mouth and then closed it over and over again, unable to get anything out besides his shaking breath. Shifting his feet uncomfortably as his knees threatened to give in.

She's just gone

She couldn't be real. She couldn't be here.

He scoffed with pain in his eyes, "no no you ain't here, I carried you outta that hospital, you were... you were dead" Daryl pointed his finger at her as he shuffled back and forth his voice wavering

"Can't get rid of me that easy, Daryl Dixon" she let out a short laugh and her smile quickly turned down as the tears finally escaped her eyes and she quickly took the remaining steps to him as he was frozen in place and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly sniffling on the leather of his vest, nails digging into the angel wings on the back holding him together. "I missed you" her words were muffled by his shirt but he heard them all the same. She felt real she felt alive and he dropped his crossbow and returned the embrace with all the strength left in him, hands gripping onto her as if she might vanish any second, crying into her tangled hair because she was okay.

Because she was never just another dead girl


	2. Chapter 2

Following the sound of a throat clearing Beth slowly pulled away from Daryl with a final sniff as she wiped the tears from her face tugging the sleeves of her sweater over her palms and breaking into a subtle smile, a pink blush forming on her cheeks. Daryl gathered his serious composure, drying his face with the back of his hand and quickly lowering his gaze away from their intrigued audience, picking up his forgotten crossbow and playing with its weight in his grip. "It's getting late Daryl we should probably head back," Aaron paused looking back and forth between Beth and Morgan, "That is of course if you two would like to come with us? To Alexandria"

Daryl replied without a second of hesitation, "Course they're comin'," and then lowering his voice a bit he added, "ain't lettin' ya outta my sight, Greene" He tilted his head a fraction to look into her kind round eyes, the same way he had that night in the funeral home when she had asked him what changed his mind and their unbroken eye contact had provoked a soft "oh", heavy with understanding and the hope of more time from Beth. Daryl broke the moment by flicking his gaze over at Morgan and back to her, asking for her approval. "He's one of the good ones" she confirmed with a curt nod. "Then it's settled" Aaron started, "Our community's about five miles out from here. We have shelter, food, water. Rick is there with everyone else"

"Everyone's okay? Maggie? Judith?" Beth looked at Daryl desperately "They're alright, but we lost Tyreese and Noah soon after…" He couldn't finish but it wouldn't have mattered because at the news of Noah's death Beth let out a small gasp, tears sparkling in her eyes and the group got silent. After a moment Beth pushed back the tears and her face went stiff, "It's gonna get dark soon."

"Better head off then" Morgan replied, as Aaron returned his gun to him

As they headed to the car they would take back to Alexandria, treading a bit behind Morgan and Aaron, Daryl and Beth walked in silence. Not wanting to push him too far, Beth took comfort in his close proximity and frequent side glances. It seemed like he was having to remind himself that she was really walking next to him. She took the quiet time to study his face. His skin was covered in grime, his grease ridden dark hair had grown to tickle the bottom of his cheekbones trailing out over his eyes in some places. The scruff on his chin longer than she had ever seen it, Daryl had seen better days.

However, the thing that stood out the most to her was how tired he looked, not only physically but emotionally as well, since the last time they were together something had worn him down and aged him, though she understood, she had changed too, from the scars that littered her face to the ones she bore inside, their time apart had irrevocably made them into different people. Though he attempted to conceal his vulnerable state with a stony expression there were cracks in the protective wall he was desperately trying to keep up that Beth could see through and she inched to her right a bit so that their arms were close enough to brush every now and then, in a way letting him know that she wasn't going anywhere and that she understood and it seemed to help him relax a bit. Still, regardless of the fact that he could feel the gentle contact their arms made as they walked, he continued to peek over at her every few minutes to remind himself she was real.

They headed back to Alexandria swiftly, Aaron and Morgan up front in the small car while Daryl sat in the back with Beth after making it clear he wasn't going to leave her side. He watched her as she leaned her head against the window, looking out. The setting sun was warming the skin of her face, highlighting the harsh scars that now marred her gentle features, the newest one a permanent reminder of the moment they almost lost her. She closed her eyes breathing deeply.

He wanted to ask her how she had survived when they had all thought she was dead. How she had found her way back to them but he couldn't get the words out. All he knew was that he had left her when she needed him the most. It was his fault she had to go through it all on her own, his fault she was ever in that hospital in the first place. If he had only paid more attention to the walkers right outside instead of throwing the door open unarmed like they weren't living in the world they were. Like everything could be safe and normal. Her delicate "oh" had made him forget. She had made him forget the dangerous damaged world on the outside of those walls. He shouldn't have let his guard down, but damn she made it easy. If he had only stayed by her side none of this would have happened. Daryl, clenching his jaw slightly, continued to mull over everything he should have done differently and as they reached the high standing walls of their home she boldly reached out as she had once before, when they had found that gravestone reminding her of the father she had lost, and laced her fingers in his. Daryl looked from their interlaced fingers to her face, her eyes full of cautious hope and nervousness for what lay beyond those walls and the people she hadn't seen for a long time. He gave her hand a squeeze as he looked out his window.

Their hands separated as they got out of the car but not a moment later Daryl briefly laid his hand gently on her spine just beneath her shoulder blades leading her towards the tall barriers of Alexandria. "Got a lotta people that'll be wantin' ta see ya" Beth hummed in response staring up at the entrance to her new home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth and Daryl have a little conversation on the porch.

As the gates of Alexandria opened Beth took a sharp inhale, whatever she had imagined it would be paled in comparison. The large homes remained completely untouched by the outside world, bright and clean. A place she had only dreamed of living in since they lost their farm house. The place looked happy, it looked like the world did before, but did she really even fit in a place like this anymore? The Beth back at the farmhouse would have fit in, but the new Beth she was forced to become? She wasn't so sure.

"c'mon" Daryl said as he nudged her with his shoulder turning to one of the many people Beth did not recognized as they passed the barrier, "go get Rick, now" the man nodded, jogging further within the community. Rick came over shortly though Beth barely recognized him, his face cleanly shaven, hair cropped short with a fresh police uniform on. He looked like he'd lost 15 years on him.

When Rick heard Daryl asked for him he hadn't know what or who he was expecting to see but nothing could have prepared him for this. Beth was standing shoulder to shoulder with Daryl. Covered in dirt and scars though it couldn't cloud the brightness of the girl standing before him. Disbelief coursed through him, "Beth?!" he stopped in his tracks for a moment, stunned, looking over at Daryl who wore a small smile that looked foreign on his face. Rushing over to Beth he held her head in his hands, his face littered with confusion. "How?" his voice was breathy and full of questions looking from Beth to Daryl who seemed to be just as clueless as him. She smiled and it brought a welcomed pang to his heart "Really have to thank Morgan for getting me here" Rick finally drew his attention to the man who had been standing off in the background. "Morgan"

Rick embraced his old friend. "I've been tracking you guys for a long time" "Glad you made it." Rick replied patting Morgan on the back. Looking over at Beth, who was glued to Daryl's side, trying to take in her surroundings as he quietly spoke to her.

"How is she alive, what happened?"

Morgan smiled with pride, "That girl's a fighter, found her fighting off three walkers in the woods, held a blade to my face and didn't say so much as a word to me till I mentioned your name. She was hell bent on finding your group even more so than me, sure as hell gave me a hard time for suggesting we stop to set up camp for the night."

" just cause you're old and tired doesn't mean I have to rest every couple hours" Beth interjected playfully "Just cause you survived a bullet to the head doesn't mean we all are that invincible"

Beth rolled her eyes at that and gave Daryl's forearm a light squeeze when he stiffened at Morgan's comment, giving him a reassuring smile

"How did you survive, Beth?" Rick's eyes were serious again and Daryl intense gaze felt as if it was burning a hole in her skin. "I really only know what I've been told. I woke up in the hospital, Dr. Stevens said I was shot and when he went back for my body he realized I was breathing so he brought me in and it took a while but I recovered, the bullet must've missed the important parts. When I was able to leave, I did. Then I ran into Morgan, he saved my life"

"You saved mine just as many times, I'm just glad I could get you back to your family" Beth gave him a smile and turned to Rick, "Where are the others?"

"C'mon I'll take you to them"

The man from before interjected, "Deana's going to want to interview them. Both of them before anyone starts getting settled in" "Deana can wait" Daryl jumped in.

"Interview? For what?" Beth started to feel uneasy "To see if you're fit to stay here" Her heart sank, what if this woman decided she wasn't fit for this place? Daryl gripped her arm and began walking her in the direction of the homes pushing past him, "'course she's stayin'"

"I'll talk to Deana, I'm sure we can survive the night without one." Rick said, holding his hand out to stop him from going after Daryl. The man eyed Morgan with suspicion as he stepped forward, "If you'd like, I could go right now. Beth should be with her family"

The man backed down and Rick let his hand fall to his side looking over at Morgan, "I'll take you to her"

xxx

Glenn saw her before Maggie, his mouth falling open as he shakily reached out his hand to place it on Maggie's arm, shaking it for her attention. When she looked over at him and then followed his fixed gaze her eyes grew wide stunned for a moment before she screamed "BETH!" and ran over to her crushing her in her arms. Beth gripped her even tighter. Loud sobs escaped the both of them "I'm so sorry" Maggie repeated over and over, "I gave up on you I'm so sorry" "It's okay, It's okay" She looked over Maggie's shoulder as her family, having heard Maggie scream her name, slowly gathered to join them with shock written all over their faces.

A baby's cry was what caught Beth's attention. "Judith" she breathed, releasing Maggie as Carl walked up to her, Judith in his arms. She was squirming in Carl's arms desperately reaching out to Beth. She picked Judith up and she instantly calmed reaching out to grip the strands of hair that fell out of her ponytail to frame her face. "Hey Judy, I missed you" Judith cooed as she stroked the soft hairs on her head and the smile on Beth's face grew wider than it had in a long time.

After she had been all hugged out, by those she loved and even some she didn't know, with Daryl still right by her side and Maggie clinging to her, the group led her to one of the homes for a change of clothes and food to quiet her growling stomach.

"Why don't you go take a shower, Bethy. I'll get you some clean clothes" Maggie smiled warmly, tears still swimming in her eyes as she held Beth's cheek in her hand. "A shower sounds real good right now" she replied walking up to the steps but turning around to catch Daryl's eyes on her. He still looked at her as if she wasn't real, like if he looked away for a second she'd vanish. "I won't be too long" she spoke out to everyone but she really only meant it for him. He gave the slightest jilt of his head in agreement and brushed his thumb over his chin briefly before slinging the crossbow off of his shoulder and settling down on the living room couch.

She closed the door to the bathroom and took a deep breath to calm herself, so many things she had wanted happened all at once and it was a lot to take in, not to mention the worries that came with the idea of having to do an interview with this Deana tomorrow, taking off her boots and setting her blade down on the counter she stripped out of her filthy clothes. The home was so clean she felt guilty just putting her clothes down. She had only been here for a short amount of time but the place already seemed too good to be true, she was almost expecting a walker to come bursting out from the shower, "what a great story that would be", she thought to herself, "Beth Greene survives a bullet to the head but goes down by a walker while she's stepping into the shower naked"

The water was so hot it nearly burned her skin but it left her feeling cleaner with every second. She held the sweet soap to her nose and took in its soft scent, something she had missed the most during her time on the road. Watching as the floor of the shower turned brown from all the dirt leaving her skin and hair, she scrubbed her scalp vigorously, months of grease peeling away from her blonde locks. She felt the scar on the back of her head, some short hairs beginning to grow back and some she would have no hope of regaining, the skin raised and smooth like the thin line across her left wrist.

After she felt thoroughly cleaned she reluctantly turned off the now warm stream, stepping out of the shower she put on the clothes Maggie had left for her, including a pair of jeans similar to her own old pair and a pale blue shirt that fit her as well as the bloodied yellow polo she was sure Maggie had thrown out instead of attempting to salvage. They smelled like flowers and she didn't think she'd ever been happier to put on fresh clothes in her entire life.

After relishing in the absence of sweat and scent of walker guts she finally looked at herself in the mirror, assessing her scars. The cuts on her left cheek and forehead had healed fairly nice, they were now slim pink lines. The round entry wound on the edge of her hairline was not as bad as it had been the last time she had really looked at herself. It was now a dark pink bump that appeared a lot smaller than it had felt the number of times she had ran her fingers over it.

She didn't look at her scars as flaws on her face. She wasn't gonna start crying about how she didn't look pretty anymore, she couldn't. These scars were a reminder of all the things she survived, they were a symbol of her strength and her willingness to make it through this world. Plus they did make her feel pretty badass. She only wondered how Daryl felt about them. In the few moments she had spent with him he seemed to only look at her with sadness and guilt. She didn't want him to feel bad for the things he had no control over, she certainly didn't want his pity.

Rummaging through the cabinets, she almost jumped for joy when she found a brush in one of the bathroom drawers and began the difficult task of untangling her hair.

After what felt like an eternity for Daryl, Beth finally came back downstairs with a great look of content. Her freshly washed hair down and untangled, the blonde waves slightly dampening the top of her shirt. Her skin and clothes now completely free of dirt and grime, her scars were the only things that couldn't be washed away but she had a way of making them suddenly disappear when she smiled. With her came the sweet scent of shampoo and spring which made him all the more aware of his own lack of cleanliness. As if Carol could read his mind she followed his stare from Beth and back to him before jokingly asking, "You finally gonna take that shower now?" Daryl grunted in response and her grin grew. Briefly touching his shoulder she headed towards the kitchen, "Beth let me fix you up something to eat you must be starving."

Daryl seemed to be tethered to Beth the whole day. Even when he wasn't directly by her side he was close enough to keep an eye on her. Beth didn't mind, in fact she needed him near her as much as he did. After all the time they spent, just the two of them, it was more comfortable to be in each other's presence. The only person clingier than him was Maggie who nearly apologized to her every minute. After she had told them what she knew about her survival, and the time she spent after Grady, the group helped fill her in on their journey since then. How they had no choice but to leave her body in one of their previous vehicles when a large herd of walkers came crowding in after the sounds of gunshots. How they were so sorry they left her there thinking she was dead and she reassured them that by not taking her with them they had actually saved her life. That in the absence of Dawn and a few other members the hospital had become a different place and it had all brought her back to them in the end. Daryl was the most uncomfortable during this, constantly looking down every time anyone mentioned leaving her or thinking she was dead. She tried to comfort him with looks when she could but she didn't want to make him more uncomfortable by reaching out to him. She knew he was weird about physical contact and she didn't want to draw any more attention to him seeing that he was already receiving knowing looks from Rick and Carol frequently and some from the others as well.

It was only when Beth was safely set up in the center of the group for the night, Maggie holding onto her hand as she lay right beside her, that Daryl left her side, going out to the porch which had become routine since the group had arrived at Alexandria. The space and quiet atmosphere was what he had needed ever since he had lost Beth. It was nights like this that he would remember her telling him that he was going to miss her so much when she was gone and all he could think of was just how right she had been. Although this night was immensely different because she was here and he wouldn't have to miss her anymore, he still felt the empty ache she had left behind.

He heard the door open and looked over just as Beth gently closed it, stepping out into the cool night air. "Couldn't sleep" she said softly. Daryl nodded, chewing on the skin of his fingertips as Beth sat down across from him. It instantly brought a sense of Déjà vu. She seemed to be thinking it too because the smallest smile briefly graced her face, so brief that had he blinked, he would have missed it. After a few moments of silence Beth finally spoke up. "Do you stay out here every night?" the sweet sound of her voice laced with concern sent a pang of sadness in him, he should be the one worried about her, and instead she was fretting over his wellbeing. Daryl shrugged, turning his focus to the floor boards and rubbing the overgrown scruff on his chin. "Why?" her brows furrowed and after a moment he looked up from the floor to meet her eyes, so genuine and sincere.

How could he tell her that losing her made him lose a part of himself, that she had been like a light at the end of the dark tunnel he had been lost in and just as he was feeling the warmth she was snuffed out right in front of him, that without her he felt like an outsider again because everyone was feeling at home here but he had lost the one person he was ready to feel at home with. That all he could think of was how much more Beth deserved a place like Alexandria than he did. She was the one who believed in good people surviving after all. So he didn't reply, but he took it from the way her eyes grew more somber and her eyebrows relaxed from their furrowed position that she understood. "you know," she started, "all that time I was away," she noticed a flicker of tension rise in Daryl's face and she looked over at the calm night sky before she continued, her own eyes moistening the slightest bit at the memory of their time apart, "when I was tryin' to find my way back to you, to all of you" she corrected herself. "I kept tellin' myself I had to have faith, I had to prove them all wrong, every person who tried to tell me I wasn't strong enough to make it." She paused for a second debating on her next words before continuing, "Even when Dawn told me that I was worthless, that I was just a burden on everyone," Daryl's pressure rose as he remembered Dawn, the woman who had almost taken her away from him and the way Beth had looked when he first saw her, gashes in her face, wrist wrapped in a cast. He didn't want to imagine all the things she had to go through in that place before they had finally found her, but she remained strong, not that he was surprised, he knew she was tough. "I couldn't let her be right about me."

"M' sorry" Daryl finally said after several moments of silence. Beth looked at him as if he had just spoken a strange language, "For what?" He began roughly picking at his fingertips as he did when he felt overwhelmed. "I should 'a been more careful, shouldn't a' opened that door like some idiot. It's all my fault ya even ended up in that place, shoulda' got to ya faster. I tried Beth, I tried to catch up to that car-" She interrupted him with a stern tone to her voice "'s not your fault, you shouldn't have to baby me Daryl, I can take care of myself, I did. I'm here now aren't I?"

"Almost weren't" his voice was gruff in an attempt to mask the quiver as he struggled to maintain his composure. Beth looked at him, her lips pressed tightly together as her eyelids twitched the slightest bit, her eyes searching his desperately, reaching deep down to the darkest part of him full of understanding, silently begging for clarity on something he wasn't sure of yet. He didn't know exactly what these feelings he had for her were, they were new to him and muddled up with his past. All he knew was that she was a constant in his mind, like a mountain in the horizon. The world had changed, so did she in many ways, but she was always Beth. Bright, strong and hope in every sense of the word. Desperately trying to change the subject, anything to take away the expression she had on her face, full of expectations that were making him nervous. He quickly dismissed her wordless question, "You should go back inside, get some sleep" a flash of hurt ran over her face but she replaced it quickly with a stubborn neutral expression. "You gonna stay out here?" she asked him, unmoving. "Yea" he replied bending his left knee as he settled back against the wall of the porch propping up his arm on the raised knee. "Okay then" she said as she shuffled down till her right side was against the floor of the porch, placing her hands underneath her head. "what're ya doin'?" he asked with a disproving tone. "Gettin' some sleep" she replied smugly. "Yer not stayin' out here"

"Why not?" she said, propping her arm up on her elbow opening her palm to hold her face, "this is the comfiest porch I've had in years" she looked at him knowingly. She was playing off his words at the funeral home. He scoffed "plus it's kinda overwhelming in there, I mean I love them all it's just I'm not used to being around so many people anymore" Daryl nodded settling back again in a silent acceptance of her decision to sleep outside. "You gonna sleep or what" he said after she still hadn't put her head back down studying him. She smiled and went back to resting her head on her hands against the porch floor. "Yes Mr. Dixon" she said in a mocking tone.


	4. Chapter 4

Beth opened her eyes on the porch to find a pillow beneath her head and a small blanket over her with Daryl nowhere in sight. She hadn't expected him to still be there, but she was a bit disappointed regardless. The sun had just risen with a gentle breeze flowing through the trees. She stretched out her limbs and rose, picking up the blanket and pillow and walking back inside just as the smell of breakfast wafted through the living room. Placing both items on the couch neatly she entered the kitchen slowly to meet the faces of almost everyone including Morgan who was standing next to Rick as he entertained Judith. Maggie was immediately at her side, "I was so worried when I woke up and you weren't there, Beth. Why would you go sleep outside?" "It was nice outside" she said nonchalantly as Michonne handed her a plate, smiling gently at her.

There was one person missing in the room and as the minutes crept forward, light conversations rolling by Beth as she struggled to remain completely focused on what everyone was saying. She picked at her food with a fork, occasionally taking a few bites, smiling when it seemed like someone had made a joke, catching a few words here and there, feeling the casual touch of a family member and trying to get used to it all at once but finally interrupting them as her curiosity got the best of her. "Where's Daryl?" she tried to pull it off as a casual question. Some seemed to have just noticed his absence, though they didn't make much of an effort in wondering where he might be. "Might be out working on his bike" Rick suggested, bouncing Judith in his arms. "I think I heard him say something about takin a shower earlier actually" Carol replied with a small knowing smirk as she popped a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth. Rick let out a short breathy laugh, "well, that's new"

Beth was confused by the seemingly common knowledge among the group of Daryl's hygiene routine, or lack thereof. "Does Daryl not take showers or something?"

"Daryl's been a little..." Rick paused trying to find a way to describe it delicately, "Resistant to getting real comfortable here" he finally settled on. Before Beth could reply, Carol said quietly, "Speak of the devil"

Daryl walked into the kitchen, though it was difficult to imagine this was the same man. His hair was still slightly damp, brushed out of his clean face. The hairs on his chin had been trimmed down and his new clothes were completely untouched from the world beyond the wall. He still wore his vest which now looked even more worn in contrast with the brand new grey shirt beneath it. Everyone turned their attention to Daryl, racking their brains to remember the last time he had looked like this. "What're you all looking at?"

"Damn, thought I was gonna get to hose you down in the front yard but it looks like you beat me to it" Carol replied jokingly. Everyone laughed quietly.

Daryl just grunted and reached for a plate looking over to his left at Beth through the corner of his eye, trying to pick up on her reaction. She smiled at him softly and quietly said, "You look nice" The corner of his mouth quirked up a fraction in her direction as he filled up his plate, taking the open seat next to Beth.

"I talked to Deanna and she said she'll be waiting to interview you soon as you finish your breakfast" Rick gave Beth a smile in an attempt to calm her nerves though it did very little. She slowed her chewing and swallowed thickly, "I'd like some more eggs, please." Daryl gave her a nudge from his place next to her, "Ain't so bad, couple questions, thas all" Beth nodded her head and after a few minutes of extra worrying she decided it was better to get it done sooner than later, "Let's just get it over with" Rick handed Judith to Morgan who gladly took on the task of keeping her happy, and gently brushed Beth's shoulder signaling her to follow him and she looked to Daryl for an extra dose of confidence as she was led out of the group's home to Deanna's house.

When she entered the room Deanna gave her the kindest smile she could muster and Beth responded with a fleeting one. She was a small woman but she looked very powerful in the way she carried herself. Beth looked around the room taking in the long wall of books, overflowing the bookshelves and piled in front of the many windows, she wondered if this woman had felt safe enough in this place to sit down and read all these books. Even when she thought she was safe, first in her home and later in the prison, she still found it hard at times to fully relax enough to finish a book or two let alone a room full.

"Please sit down, Beth." She carefully walked to the chair and sat down her hands clasped together in her lap. She stared at the camera on the tripod behind the couch even as Deanna sat down. "You don't mind if I record this conversation do you?" Beth finally turned her attention back to Deanna, "Why?" "In the interest of transparency, I record all of my conversations" Beth looked down, "I guess s'alright" "What did you do before all this?"

 

The conversation was over fairly quickly. Beth told her she had only been a teenager in high school when it all began and she was asked about her relationship with Maggie and then her father whose loss was still fresh in her mind, memories now bittersweet. She didn't tell her much, she was smarter than that. No matter how trustworthy she was or how safe everyone felt around this woman she wouldn't reveal her weaknesses to her. Deanna then asked her about her time apart from the group, the hospital she had spent her time in. She seemed to want to know how she had ended up with the scars on her face but was trying to find a delicate way to ask. "I was punished for not obeying, for telling the truth about what was out there, then I was shot. Doesn't matter, because I made it."

"Yes you did, you are much stronger than you seem Beth, I think you'll fit in just fine here. I'll let you know when I find the right job for you."

"So… that's it, I can stay?" "You can stay" She replied with sincerity.

 

Daryl was sitting out on the steps of Deanna's home when Beth stepped out, fiddling with something in his hand. He looked up at her and she smiled, "wasn't so bad" "told ya" he said standing up from the steps. "She seems nice" "she's alright" Beth stepped off the porch. "Did you wait out here for me?" "Well, yeah… someone's gotta take you back to the house" he replied looking back at Deanna's home "so you offered to chaperon?" "Thought you said ya didn't need one" "I don't" "c'mon then" he said as they started walking out of Deanna's view. Beth couldn't remember the last time she casually strolled through a suburban neighborhood without having to worry about her safety. It all still felt like a strange dream, like she would wake up any minute in the woods with a walker inches away from her face. White picket fences, people sitting on their porches, these things weren't supposed to last but here she was. Her father would have loved this place.

It was nice to have silence but halfway home Beth grew tired of Daryl's preoccupied demeanor. "Somethin' wrong?" she stopped walking and he followed. She looked at him for a few moments before he replied, "guess since yer here now…" Daryl stalled a bit before reaching down to his side and then reaching out to Beth, fingers loosely gripping her old blade. "It's yers" Beth slowly took the blade from him, staring at it for a moment before looking back up at him. "You kept it?" "Carol gave it to me, after… thought it might help..." he grew silent and looked down. She felt his discomfort heavy in the air. He really had missed her, more than she thought he would and certainly more than she wished. "Thank you, Daryl" She looked up at him for a moment thinking out her next move. He could feel that same thickness in the air as last night, millions of things still left unsaid, things he wasn't sure he'd ever be brave enough to let slip from his mouth, things he could feel building up that he had never known before. He wanted her to know how far the darkness had come over him when she was gone, how everything beautiful left in the world left a sour taste in his mouth but he couldn't get the words out of him, maybe she didn't want to hear it, so he gave her the blade back and hoped it would help her understand a bit more and then he just stood there not knowing what to do because she had that look on her face again, the same one she wore that night at the funeral home and on the porch last night.

She saw it in his face that there were things he wanted to say but he retracted from the thoughts, trying to distance himself from feeling those emotions. Every time they got closer to something he freaked out and pulled himself away from it, becoming awkward and uncalculated. She debated a little longer on her next move before placing her hand on his shoulder, swiftly leaning forward and stretching up on her toes to briefly kiss his cheek. Daryl stiffened the second he saw her closing in and remained rigid for a few seconds after the touch of her lips left his skin. She moved back to her previous position and looked at him with her signature close-lipped smile, gentle and sweet and he relaxed as she switched back to her casual self, "You know, you really need a haircut" he scoffed as they continued on. "It's almost as long as mine"


	5. Chapter 5

Another day had already passed and Beth still hadn't heard anything from Deanna, everyone had come and gone as they headed off to do their part for Alexandria and she was starting to feel useless, so she tried to do some cleaning around Rick's house, which was where she was staying for the time being. Maggie had begged her to stay with her and Glenn in the other home but she insisted that she would be better off here where she could give Rick and Carl a break from taking care of Judith, though she mostly just felt she needed more space from Maggie because she was clingier than ever. She loved her sister, more than anything, but she found she could not get any space around her. Now, more than ever Maggie was treating her as if she could break any minute. Like she was still that child on the farm house, but she had changed so much since then. She didn't need to be looked after. Luckily Rick must have picked up on that because he gave Beth an understanding look before turning his head to Maggie and agreeing, "She'd be a lot of help with Judith."

There wasn't much to clean though. They kept it up very nicely and she laughed at herself when for the first time in her life she caught herself wishing there were more things to clean.

As she put away the last dish she heard Judith waking up from her nap and she swiftly dried her hands against her jeans before going upstairs to fetch her. Judith stretched her arms out to Beth, eager to be picked up. As she gently bounced Judith in her arms she couldn't help but feel maybe this role she was playing here wasn't going to be enough for her. She had spent a lot of this new world taking care of Judith and hiding in the background when things got ugly, but she wasn't that person anymore. She wanted to do something, be a part of something bigger than just living.

Just then she heard Daryl call for her from downstairs and she smiled at Judith as she carried her down. "Brought somethin' for little asskicker." He handed the small rattle to Judith, who immediately began hitting it against Beth's arm excitedly as she realized the noise it made. "Guess she's finally livin' up to that nickname of hers" Beth quietly giggled as she put Judith down in her playpen. "You hungry? Spent all day workin' on that bike."

"Nah, already ate." Daryl replied "Place looks nice." he continued after a brief moment of silence. "It's nothin, just tryin' to be some sort of use to everyone." He just looked at her in silence which triggered her to continue, "I just, I feel like I'm back and everyone wants to put me back in the box of who I was before but I don't fit anymore, I changed and they don't see it…or they don't want to. I thought I could be that way again, that's why I offered to take care of Judith and the house, but I just feel empty and useless. I'm afraid Deanna's gonna give me some menial job because she sees me like everyone else does."  
"I don't." Daryl replied in a quiet tone and the corners of Beth's lips quirked up fleetingly. Daryl raised his hand to scratch at the back of his head, "Actually, came here to…well, Aaron wanted me to ask you if you'd wanna have dinner at their place."

"Oh…uh, tonight?" "Yeah, guess it's kinda last minute, if you don't-" She intterupted him before he could finish, "No, I'd love to. You'll be there, right?" Daryl nodded and peered up at her through his overgrown bangs. "I've heard he makes some serious spaghetti." Daryl shrugged, "Ain't half bad." If she looked close enough she could even see a smile.

Beth ran her hands down her hair, tucking strands behind her ears in an attempt to tame the unruly waves that fell down her shoulders. She hoped she didn't look too bad, seeing as she was trying to make a good impression on the couple. Daryl had traded out his t-shirt for a long sleeved button down, and his grease stained pants for a dark pair of lightly worn jeans. Although he kept the vest, she wondered if he ever let anyone wash it. Daryl quickly knocked on the door and Eric answered with a large grin. "Right on time, hope you're hungry."

"Starvin.'" Daryl replied and Beth gave Eric the warmest smile she could manage as she followed Daryl into the home.

"I swear we eat more than just spaghetti in this house." Aaron said when they all had food on their plates. "It's perfect, thank you." Beth smiled as she settled down in her chair. Aaron continued,"I'd say that Daryl has told us a lot about you, but he doesn't do much talking." Daryl's only response was a squinted stare as he consumed a forkful of spaghetti. "It's fine, not much to say anyway." She replied before taking a sip of water.

The night carried on smoothly, Aaron and Eric were both extremely nice and she figured out why Daryl had spent actual time with them. They were a few of the only people inside of Alexandria that had spent any real time outside the walls. They were sort of the bridge between both worlds. She found herself genuinely laughing and enjoying herself, which had been tough to come by lately. Even Daryl seemed to loosen up as much as someone like Daryl Dixon could. Though he was oddly cautious and guarded around her and she wondered if it was because it wasn't just the two of them, every moved felt very over calculated and careful, like sitting next to her was crossing some sort of boundary. She was always the first to initiate contact even in their time alone but this felt different, he felt distant.

"Daryl, I was thinking we could go out on another recruiting mission, there are a few places I want to cover."  
"when're ya thinkin?"

"within the next couple of days, there are a few things I've got to get settled and then we'll be good to go"

"I wanna go." she stated firmly and all three of them looked up from their plates with surprise and concern. "Ain't happenin'." Daryl shot her down instantly. "Deanna hasn't given me a job yet and no offense, I'd probably have better luck getting people to go with us than you." Daryl looked at her and she explained further, "well you don't exactly give off an innocent trustworthy vibe, people will believe me." Aaron turned from Beth to Daryl with a seemingly intrigued expression, "She does have a point."  
"no, she ain't goin'." Beth was opening her mouth to further present her reasons when Daryl stood up from the table, wiping his mouth with a napkin and grabbing Beth's arm, "Thanks for the dinner but we gotta head off now." Aaron and Eric looked at the both of them with uncomfortable disappointment as Daryl practically dragged Beth out of their home.

They got as far as the bottom steps before Beth tugged her arm out of his grasp with intense frustration, "What is your problem? I remember surviving just fine by myself, I'm not some frail little girl you have to protect, I can do this!" "I know you ain't" he replied with a tone that suggested he was frustrated that she even doubted his belief in her. "then why won't you let me go with you?" and he responded with a scoff as if he couldn't handle the absurdity of her question and started in the direction of their home, " No Daryl, you don't get to do this."

"do what?" he asked, his tempo uninterrupted. "Walk away from this." She was trudging behind him with angry determined steps. "What're you talkin' bout." She had already stopped walking, he didn't have to turn around to know. "You know." She said it so firmly with complete confidence and her words struck him and so suddenly it was like that first day they really fought after the prison, when he had said things aimed to hurt her, things he didn't truly mean and he sharply turned to her, "you don't know nothin'."

"I know you've got feelings for me." His expression gave away the truth in her words but he quickly straightened it out, "Psh, feelings? Nah you got it wrong, girl. Just cuz I'm nice to you ya think I love you or somethin'?" He was afraid of how he felt for her, afraid of her reaction if she knew, afraid of what everyone would think of him. "I see the way you look at me, Daryl. I'm young but I'm not stupid. You think pushing me away is gonna keep me safe? Or are you tryin' to keep yourself from getting too attached in case something' bad happens to me?" she was stepping closer but he stepped back at the same time.

"you don't get it." his words were stiff. "No? Then talk to me, really talk to me instead of backin' up when things get too scary for you." The sun had set a while ago and the skies were dark. The only light came from the porch they had just left and the full moon now high in the sky. "Why don't you just leave me alone, girl. Stop tryin' to figure me out so damn much!"

" I don't need to 'figure you out', Daryl, I already know you." She waited a moment before continuing, "Yeah you're tough out there fighting walkers, gettin' things done, but here, when feelin's are involved, you're just a scared man who won't do anythin'!" she had been slowly stepping closer and closer to Daryl as she spoke until only a few inches were between their faces. She was testing him, daring him to prove her wrong. He stood there for what felt like hours, looking at her through the few strands of hair that fell in front of his face. She could tell he was battling himself internally because his eyes kept searching hers for a trap, faltering briefly to flicker to her lips before returning to her eyes. They were so close now that she could feel the warmth of his breath against her own, he leaned forward only fractionally before backing out twice as fast, instantly cooling the warm tension that had been thick between them. "Maggie'll be worryin' 'bout you. Should head back."

The disappointment had never been clearer on her face from the way she slowly blinked and the fire behind her eyes now vanished as she looked down from him with a small nod to herself.

The walk back was silent, Beth remained a good few feet behind Daryl and when they finally reached the porch Daryl stayed standing on the lawn as she knocked on Maggie's door, "Beth, you're back early… what's wrong?" Beth turned to Daryl and he remained still though his eyes were trying to let her know that he was sorry. "Nothin' just tired." she replied entering the house and Maggie looked from Beth's vanishing figure to Daryl's trying to understand what had just happened before quickly saying goodnight to him and closing the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it again, let me know what you think! Every comment is a serious piggyback to the next chapter


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